My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in May of 2019. She was no longer able to live on her own. After a two month stay at a Senior Behavioral Unit, where she was treated for dementia and schizophrenia, I brought her home to live with me and my husband.
Mom’s dementia manifested with loss of memory and delusions. She seems to only live in the moment. Anything that has happened, or was said, a minute ago is forgotten. This means asking the same question every few minutes or not remembering something she was told a moment ago. Her delusions can be actual events remembered wrong or totally unconnected to anything in reality. For example, I picked her up at the hospital and drove her the four hours to my home. Now every time we are out and pass a car dealership, she will say “That is where I met you the first time I came here.”
Because of one of Mom’s delusions, she had not spoken to me in three years. Something in one of our phone conversations had triggered her. She decided that I had called her liar and that I was no longer worthy to be her daughter. She disowned me. I tried a few times to call her, but she would either hang up on me or her tone would be so cold, that it broke my heart. My mom and I had always been so close. She was my best friend that I could always talk to about anything and rely upon for good advice.
When I found out she had been hospitalized, I decided to take my chance and go and visit her. I had no idea how she would react when she saw me. Much to my surprise and delight, when she saw me she said, “Oh, my Sonja! I’m so glad to see you!” So during the two months she was there, I drove the four hours to visit her as often as I could.
The Senior Behavioral Unit is a temporary solution. Basically they use medications and therapy to stabilize patients mentally and physically. So, once that was accomplished the decision of where mom was going to live became the next step. I checked on nursing homes in the area around her home. I worried how a nursing home would affect her mentally and physically. With medication mom was doing fairly well. She was able to go out shopping, visit restaurants and even hold a good conversation. Someone who only met her for a few minutes would not know she had Alzheimer’s.
So, after putting in the work to become mom’s Guardian and Conservator, I brought her to live with me. It has been wonderful, terrible, nerve wracking, fun, stressful and life changing. And I am so glad I did it!